I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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