why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
