He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
