oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
