oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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