I didn't shave. On purpose
another moral hangover. fuck.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
