cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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