I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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