this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
