you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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