If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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