3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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