Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
