I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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