cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
