She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
