Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
