i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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