Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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