The maid of honor just puked.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
