What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I intend to get homeless drunk
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
