My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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