I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
