Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
