I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
