remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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