I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
