Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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