i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
