Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
