her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
