So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
