respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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