Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
