What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
