I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
