at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
