I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize