is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Gay?
German.
Pity.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize