school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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