Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
