A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
