his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
