What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
