69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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