I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
