Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
