Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize