It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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