Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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