why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you never un-have a 4some
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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