So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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