um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
