Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize