She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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