Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
